


Heal My Wounds

by theCreativeWriter



Category: Disney - All Media Types, Peter Pan (1953), The Little Mermaid (1989), Treasure Planet (2002)
Genre: Break Up, Cheating, Childhood Friends, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Fights, First Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Heartbreak, Implied Sexual Content, Jealousy, Loneliness, Male-Female Friendship, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Tears
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-14 01:04:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7992916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theCreativeWriter/pseuds/theCreativeWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Friendships are built and love affairs grow. Problems arise, heartbreaks uncover and the love eventually dies. And familiar faces and memories recur. Jane Darling is in the process of mending her broken heart, while Jim Hawkins has moved on with his life. What will happen? Who will have a happy ending? And who will get left behind? JHxJD five shot series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heal My Wounds

Jane Darling was frustrated.

It was colder outside than the weather forecast had predicted would be, and cold weather was one of the things she hated. Cold weather and Jane mixed together, did not go well. At all. But that wasn’t the only thing that was making her feel this way.

Her morning had gone absolutely horrible. She had slept through her alarm and missed her biology exam – the biggest and most important exam of her life. Maybe the fact that she had unintentionally pulled an all-nighter to complete her twenty page English essay (which she left until the last minute – again) was not the smartest idea after all. Speaking of her English assignment, class for her had started at 10:45am.

She had woken up at 11:30am. That was a lovely start to her morning. It was only an hour class anyway so at the time, there was no point in her rushing to get to class and stay for only fifteen minutes. So to say, maybe it had been a complete waste of time to have stayed up all night and cram to finish writing her paper. The paper was late anyways, which meant that her professor would most likely not accept it. So that was another area that would cost her marks. Looks like her GPA was definitely not going to survive this year after all. Which was really unfortunate for her because summer school looked like it was going to be number one on her list, even though it was the last thing she ever wanted to put herself through.

But that wasn’t the best part.

After having ransacked her entire room to retrieve her favorite (but most professional) white, French cut blouse, it was nowhere to be found. She had searched through her room one last time, and then she searched around her mother’s room for it (in case her mom had been sneaky enough to borrow it without her permission).

Fortunately for her, she did find it in her mother’s room. It was hiding under the laundry basket. The unfortunate part however, was that it was completely covered in last week’s coffee stains. Of course, how could she have forgotten? Mother always kept the laundry basket of dirty clothes in her room whenever laundry day was just around the corner.

Today was Friday. Laundry day was Friday night. So to say, Laundry day (or night) doesn’t start until six o’clock at night.

Now that was just fantastic. Her job interview at her favorite coffee shop (Urban Coffee Company) had been scheduled for twelve o’clock noon. It was eleven thirty five at the time. The coffee shop itself was at least a half hour walk from her house. With how the way things were playing out, there was no way she was making it to that job interview on time. Or at all.

To make matters worse, her black leotards had holes in them (courtesy of Nana Two), one of the heels on her close toe shoes had broken off and she had remembered that her mother had taken her navy blue pencil skirt to the cleaners. And to top it all off, they barely had any food in the house to make even just a simple meal. That part was probably her fault. It had been her turn to the groceries this week but of course and as always, she left finishing her homework until the last minute. So to say, she hadn’t gotten the chance to do the groceries. Her mother was probably taking care of that right now.

Jane had everything planned out for her morning.

Spend the whole day before finishing up her English essay. Study and cram for her biology exam the night before. Only get two hours of sleep. Write her biology exam for 8:30. Submit her English essay at 10:45. Head down to her job interview for 12:00 noon.

Yup. She had everything planned out. But sadly, her routine didn’t pan out the way that she wanted to.

So now here she was, sitting frustrated, sipping miserably on a cup of coffee (or was it a latte or a mocha? Not that she even gave a damn), looking disheveled and sleep deprived (the bags under eyes were definitely noticeable, but she passed it off as a terrible eyeliner job) and hating her life. She managed to take another sip of the coffee, making a face and she pushed the cup aside.

The coffee tasted like crap. Then again, it was probably because of the fact that she had no choice but to settle on getting coffee at the Six Eight Kafe, as opposed to Urban Coffee Company. After the morning she had been having, there was no way she could show her face in that shop again. And it wasn’t like she was a stranger to the manager or the other employees there. As a matter of fact, the manager knew her very well.

Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays were Jane’s ‘coffee and lunch’ days. Every three of those days, her usual order consisted of a medium Ethiopian Mocha Djimmah (two tablespoons of sugar, a half cup of milk and a quarter cup of cream), Hummus, Spiced Vegetable Cous-Cous with Sundried Tomatoes on a Fresh Tortilla Wrap and a raspberry scone for a small dessert. Jane was frequently very stingy with her coffee though. If there was three tablespoons of sugar added to her coffee (which was way too sweet for her liking), she would send it back and have it made from scratch. If they stiffed her on the milk (a quarter cup for example), same thing, send it back and have it made all over again. So to say, the manager made sure to let his employers know to take extra care with Jane’s coffee.

At the same time, they had nothing against her. After all, she was a regular. And without her, they probably wouldn’t still be in business right this very day.

That was the main reason she was offered the job in the first place. The coffee shop was practically her second home, so as opposed to spending her entire allowance on it, why not just make money from it?

Without even thinking twice, she gladly accepted the offer. However unfortunately after today, they probably wouldn’t want her to step foot back in their shop ever again (well, it was more what Jane thought. Then again, she was known for exaggerating over the littlest things).

That’s probably one of the reasons why she’s still single.

Not that she cared. In fact, Jane enjoyed the single life. She always thought to herself ‘why put yourself through stress and heartbreak when you can be happy and stress free?’ or ‘why does one always have to be stuck going everywhere with one person when you can have your own fun?’ That was Jane’s way of looking at relationships.

She was never really one to obsess over having a boyfriend. It wasn’t something that was her main priority at this point. And even right now, she was just too busy. If having a boyfriend would mean her having to hinder her time between schooling, taking care of the household affairs and having to be someone’s shoulder to cry on when things didn’t go his own way, then she wanted no part of it.

It’s bad enough that she can barely handle juggling her first year of University while still having to help take care of Daniel when her mother was busy working. Having a boyfriend added to the mix? That was definitely and a hundred percent NO!

But then again, there were times where she did think it would be nice to have someone to talk to. Someone to laugh with and someone to go to the movies with whenever she was bored, or lonely.

All of her friends were in committed relationships. They cherished every moment of it. Some were in school just like her and still managing to keep their relationships alive and exciting. Some were also engaged; one of them being her best friend, Alice Kingsley.

How Jane missed Alice dearly. Alice had gone to study concurrent education in Scotland. It was only a two year undergraduate program, and then a one year program at teacher’s college. Alice’s boyfriend, Peter Patrick Pan was still here in Birmingham, studying and working. Alice was the only friend that Jane used to keep in contact with. For the first few months, they sent emails back and forth to each other day and night.

The last email that Jane had received from Alice was that she had mentioned that after she completes her schooling, Peter was going to come live with her in Scotland and they were going to get married. She had chosen Jane to be her maid of honor.

But Jane never responded to that message.

Not that she wasn’t happy for her best friend. Of course she was happy! She was ecstatic for her actually. But deep down, jealousy wallowed in the pit of her stomach.

Was she jealous of her best friend’s engagement?

As a matter of fact, was she jealous of all of her friends being in happy and committed relationships?

Was she jealous of the fact that she was the only one out of all of her friends that was still single?

She shook her head, taking another sip of her now cold coffee. Of course she wasn’t! Being single was Jane’s choice. As a matter of fact, she was better off without a boyfriend weighing her down (So she convinced herself).

Besides, she was much too occupied for a relationship right now. And of course, according to her family members and friends, she was also very bossy and controlling.

Her little brother, Daniel would always say to her “good luck to the man that decides to marry you!” It baffles her how her eight year old brother seems to be able to pick up on these things. Even he can see that all of her friends are in relationships, and his big sister is still running solo. Sometimes Daniel was much too smart for his age, which was one of things that annoyed Jane most about having a little brother.

She always thought that she would’ve been better off as an only child.

Even her own mother would question her as to why she just doesn’t give it a try. But with Jane being the stubborn girl she was, her answer was always a flat out _no_.

Her friends had attempted numerous times to set her up on blind dates whenever they went out. But Jane just wasn’t interested. She would never make the effort socialize with any of the guys that her friends would try to set her up with.

But then again, maybe that was her problem. She just didn’t give guys a chance.

“Excuse me, miss?”

She looked up from her cup, gaze landed on a rather attractive looking young guy. Jane would admit, he was well put together. Dirty blonde hair tied back in a ponytail, slender figure with a good height, polo shirt neatly tucked into his black jeans and a sheepish breath taking smile that made any girl weak in the knees.

It was too bad that Jane didn’t seem to be one those girls.

“Yes?” Her tone was anything but friendly, uninterested.

“Umm….I was wondering if….umm….” She rolled her eyes, fingertips tapping impatiently on the wooden table, her head resting unenthusiastically in the palm of her other hand. “I wanted to know,” He finally gathered up the courage to speak, “are you alone right now?”

“Yes.” She answered plain and simple. “Why?”

“Oh, great!” He cleared his throat quickly, noting the cock of her eyebrow. “Well actually, I was wondering….if you….maybe I could join-“

“No.”

“No?”

“You heard me.”

“Uh…” He forced a hesitant chuckle through his teeth, scratching the back of his neck. “Gee um…you didn’t even let me finish.”

Another roll of her eyes. “I don’t need to. I already know what you were going to ask me.”

“Really? Well then that must mean that you’re psychic?” He laughed a little. “Am I right?”

She stared at him, blinking was the only response that he received. Immediately the smile was wiped from his face, his hand finding the back of his neck again, and then gave her another goofy grin. Jane had to force herself to count down from twenty, then to ten, before she would do something that she would regret.

“Umm….do you have a map by any chance?”

She blinked again. “No.”

“Oh…well that’s unfortunate.”

“And why is that?”

“Because….I just keep getting lost in your eyes.” He finished with his best irresistible smiles.

She made face, and then scoffed. “That was the most horrible pick up line I’ve ever heard.” Again, the smile slowly faded from his features. “And the answer is still no.”

“But-“

“I said no!” Maybe she had said that a little too loudly, fully aware of the confused gazes pressing into her back. “Now can you just leave me alone!”

The look on his face said that his pride had just been trampled on. Badly. Cheeks were cherry red from the heat and the embarrassment rushing to the pit of his stomach. Without another word, he quickly headed towards the exit and was never to be seen again.

Whispers of displeasure and looks of distaste were sent her way. One older woman (looked to be in her fifties) sent her a rather dirty stare, shaking her head. The look on her face pretty much told Jane that she felt sorry for her, sorry for the fact that she was sure she would never be able to snag a guy with that kind of attitude. A group of girls had done the same thing, whispering and pointing in her direction with nasty looks plastered on their faces.

She immediately looked down at her cold drink, staring at her reflection through dark liquid. Maybe she had been too harsh. Part of her immediately started to regret her hostile attitude that she took out on an innocent guy. But then another part of her wasn’t interested in opening herself up to possibly another situation.

Maybe her family and friends were right. Maybe she really doesn’t give guys a chance.

But then again, maybe she thought she was meant to be single for the rest of her life. Maybe she wasn’t meant to have a soul mate. Maybe her destiny leads to a different path than the rest of her friends and family members. Maybe having only a career and being alone while living in a small house was the life that she meant to live.

No husband. No kids. No family. Maybe that is what her life ahead of her will look like.

Was she meant to be alone for the rest of her life?

She sighed, forcing herself to tear her gaze away from her cup of cold coffee and watch the scene that played out in front of her. A girl, probably about her age, grasping on to her boyfriend’s hand; giggling like a giddy high school girl, her laugh floating through the air like a melody. The guy went to place a kiss amongst her lips, caressing her the side her cheeks and then placed another kiss on her forehead.

Another sigh, long and quiet, before she focused her gaze back on the coffee.

What Jane would give to have something like that. And that’s when she realized.

She did feel lonely. She longed for that love and compassion. Maybe that’s why she is the way she is. Maybe the reason why she was so bitter and turned off by relationships was a way to distract her from not having to realize that she didn’t have a boyfriend.

“Um, miss?”

That was the last thing she needed. Yet another guy trying to make another move on her.

“What?!”

She snapped, looking up from her cup. Her breath caught in her throat. Eyes wide like golf balls. She couldn’t take her gaze off the person who was standing above her. The last person whom she had ever expected to see.

“Jane?”

She blinked rapidly, attempting to catch her breath before she was able to respond. “Jim?”

He looked at her, gaze unable to tear away from the girl sitting below him. He shoved his hands into his pockets, looking for the words to speak. “Uh….long time no see.”

She shook her head. “Um….yea….” she forced a chuckle through her teeth. “It has been.” She paused for a second. “What are you doing here?”

He gave an innocent shrug. “I was just around the neighborhood. Thought I’d stop by for a coffee.”

“Oh….umm….” Again, she tried to find the words to speak, “that’s nice.”

“Yea.” A smile small. “What about you?”

“Me?”

“Yeah.” A small chuckle. “I’m surprised to see you here. You’re always at Urban Coffee Company. Your favorite coffee shop.”

“Oh! Right!” She ran a hand through her messy hair, chuckling. “Just wanted to um…” she fished for the words, “try something new I guess.” She gave the cold coffee another sip and finished with a grin.

“Try something new?” He nodded towards the cup of cool liquid. “You look like you’re really enjoying that coffee there.”

“Yeah!” She took another sip, trying not to make a face. “It’s really….delicious!”

Now he laughed. “Yea right. You hate that coffee, don’t you?”

Even Jim knew. She usually could never fool him. “Is it that obvious?”

“Jane, I think I know you well enough to know that you never touch any other coffee unless it’s from Urban Coffee Company.” He put one hand on the chair in front of her. “You’re very stingy when it comes to coffee.”

A nod. “Yeah….” She cupped her hands around the coffee mug. “Well….that’s me.”

It was silent between them, except for the hustling and bustling of the other customers. Awkward and extremely uncomfortable. Both trying to fish for a new topic to communicate about, but found that they both failed in that department unfortunately. Jim tightening his grip on the handles of the chair, rocking back and forth on his tip toes (something that he always did when he found himself stuck in an awkward position or situation).

“Anyways….” Jane looked up as Jim decided to be the first one to speak. “I finally remembered why I had come here in the first place…” He paused for moment. “I was wondering if….you’re alone right now?”

“Oh! Yes!” She nodded, a little too eagerly. “I am actually!” She attempted to straighten herself out. “You’re more than welcome to take a seat with me!” She forced herself to stop before she went any further. “That is….if you want?”

“Oh…um…” He put his hand back in his pocket. “I actually wanted to know if I could steal this chair from you?”

“Oh….sure I guess….” Now she was confused. “What do you need-“

“Thanks.” He started pulling the chair from its spot. “All the other chairs were taken so we needed an extra one.”

“We?”

“Yeah, me and my-“

“Jim?”

Jane’s eyes landed on the figure that was coming up behind Jim. She was quite young (maybe around Jane’s age), beautiful too. Black silky hair tied neatly in a low ponytail, her bangs neatly curled off the side. Natural and fresh olive skin that looked like she made sure to take extra good care of and her choice in wardrobe practically screamed wealthy. It was obvious that she took pride in her appearance. Unfortunately for Jane, just by looking at this girl had suddenly caused her own confidence to gradually diminish.

Jim turned to address the girl behind him. “Melody.” Jane had to force herself to tear her eyes away after watching Jim greet the girl with a tender kiss to the lips. He turned back to Jane, an arm wrapped around the girl’s (who apparently goes by Melody) waist. “Jane, this is Melody. My fiancé.”

Jane’s eyes widened. “Y-you’re fiancé?” Her breath was caught in her throat. “Wow….that’s um…” Again, fishing the right words. “Wonderful.”

Melody smiled, her beautiful smile. “It’s nice to meet you.” She stuck out a hand. No wonder her name was Melody. Even when she spoke it sounded melodious. “And you are…?”

“Jane.” A prompt answer, reluctantly taking the girl’s hand and shaking it. Her skin soft under Jane’s touch.

“Right. Melody, this is Jane.” Jim motioned between the two. “She was my old neighbor.”

‘Old neighbor?’ Jane thought to herself. She had been more than just an old neighbor.

“Old neighbor? That’s so adorable!” Melody chimed in, smiling between the two. “So I’m guessing you guys are old childhood friends.”

“Yup!”

“Yeah…” She gave a half smile. “I guess you could say that.”

“Jim, you never told me about Jane.” Jane suddenly began to feel her throat tighten. “Actually as a matter of fact, you never told me that you even had an old childhood friend.”

“Oh…” Jim let out a nervous chuckle. “Well…that was-“

“How come you never told me your friendship with Jane?”

“Well…uh….” He began rocking back and forth on his heels again. “Because it was so long ago, baby. It didn’t really seem like it was that important.”

‘Not important?’ Her grip tightened around the defenseless coffee mug. Nail digging in so hard that she nearly almost chipped the dish. Eyes refusing to meet their gazes. Holding back the tears that threatened to escape any minute.

“Oh, well I guess that makes sense. I mean it was a long time ago. I’m sure Jane would think the same thing.” Melody then turned to Jane, smiling. “Right Jane?”

She counted to ten. Then to fifteen. “I have to go.”

“Oh so soon?” Jane got up from the table. “So, can we use your table?”

“Just take it!”

She stormed pass them, making a hurry to the exit. “It was nice seeing you again!”

She ignored Jim’s words, not bothering to turn to look back over her shoulder. With a push of the door, she was immediately embraced by the brutal cold chill and disappeared around the corner, allowing the tears to spill down her cheeks.

* * *

 

Jane remembered everything that happened.

The events continuously played out in her head, as if she had been viewing a rather a depressing romantic comedy. The intense love that they shared. The smile that he would put on her face. The laughter. The compassion. The fighting. The tears. The crying. Even the hitting….

And their friendship.

She remembered everything like she knew the back of her hand.

As much as she tried to get rid of those memories and just move on with her life, she couldn’t. Almost as if it were impossible for her to do so.

She didn’t want to remember all the events that had taken place. Many times she had attempted to push those thoughts and memories from out of her head, but unfortunately it failed. These thoughts were forever embedded in her brain, no matter how much she hated it.

_“This whole thing was a mistake!”_

He had yelled at her. With tears rolling down her cheeks, she bit her lip.

_“Well if that’s the way you feel, then maybe we should just break up!”_ She had shouted back.

_“Maybe we should!”_

_“Fine!”_

_“We’re over! Done! I don’t ever want to see you again!”_

‘I don’t ever want to see you again’.

Those words. His tone. The hostility in his voice. The anger and regret in his eyes. Jane heaved a heavy sigh, forcing the tears back, teeth piercing through the flesh of her lower lip. She tried to force herself to move from her window sill, but unfortunately found that to be another challenge. Cheeks were flushed and puffy from the crying session on her way back from the café. She was grateful that mother and Danny were still absent from the household when she arrived home. The last thing she wanted was for them to know that she was deeply bothered by something and to see her crying.

Hugging her knees tighter towards her chest, she sat and stared out the stained glass window. The sky was now gray, cloudy. It looked like a thunder storm was just inches away from making its invasion over the city of Birmingham. Another thing to add to the things that she hated.

It was bad enough that her morning had gone horrible.

But it was worse having to see her ex-best friend at the coffee with another girl. Actually, to rephrase this, it had been absolutely gut-wrenching to see him with a girl that was well mannered, sweet and beautiful. And to make matters worse, she was his fiancé. His fiancé!

She grimaced at the thought. Stupid girl.

Stupid girl with her stupidly gorgeous self. Stupid girl who was so stupidly well-dressed and well-mannered. Stupid girl to come in with her stupid, perky self. Stupid girl to have won his heart. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Jane didn’t even have to know the girl in order for her to hate her already. She hated how sweet she was. She hated her smooth and soft skin. Hated how prim and proper she seemed. Hated her eloquent expensive clothing. She even hated how alluring her voice sounded. She hated how he kissed her.

She hated the fact that it hadn’t have been her that his lips had pressed upon.

_“Kiss me.”_

She remembered him saying to her. Almost as if she could hear his voice whispering in her ear.

_“Right now?”_

_He nodded, lips curving at the sides. “Yeah.”_

_She snuck a quick glance to her bedroom door that was closed shut. Worrying that her mother or Danny would come barging through her door anytime soon. The last thing she wanted was to be caught making out with her boyfriend on her window sill._

_“Jim….”_

_“Hey,” He reached over to caress her cheek. “Relax, we’re not going to get caught.”_

_She chuckled, then rolled her eyes. “You always say that.”_

_“And you always worry.” He grasped onto her hand this time, not taking his eyes off her. “Just trust me.”_

_“But my mother or Danny could walk in here any minute!” Explaining this to him was more difficult than she thought._

_“Jane, I told you once, now I’m telling you again.” A squeeze of his hand for reassurance. “Just relax.”_

_“And what if we get caught?”_

_“We won’t.”_

_She opened her mouth to speak, but quickly snapped it shut. Just by looking at his face, it was clear that she had lost. Clearly he was winning the debate. He always won. Stupid him for having to be so persistent and irresistible._

_“Just kiss me.”_

_A sigh. “Jim-“_

_“Kiss me, Jane.” He shifted closer, not letting go of her hand, or her gaze. “Please?”_

_And their lips joined before Jane was able to think twice. His lips were soft amongst hers, gently caressed hers with each delicate kiss. His tongue found hers and they danced gracefully with one another. Pretty soon, the kiss turned passionate, deep and hungry. He lifted her onto his lap, straddling his hips while he held onto her. Her fingers raking through his hair, his hands running up and down her sides. She loved being able to feel him, to touch him, to taste him…._

The clap of thunder had woken her from her thoughts. The pitter-patter of the raindrops drumming amongst her window was the only sound she heard. Gaze peeled to the raindrops slithering gracefully down the glass. She hugged her knees closer, tightened around them as she was beginning to grow slightly anxious.

Darn the thunder. She remembered how much she hated thunder.

Ever since she was little kid, Jane had always been terrified of thunderstorms. From the time she was three years old, she would always run to her mother and father’s room and quietly sneak under the covers and hide there until she was secure in her mother’s embrace. Of course her parents couldn’t say ‘no’ to their three year old daughter. So they let her sleep in their room with them whenever it thundered outside. She remembered that her parents would always tell her that there was nothing to be afraid of, and that the thunderstorm was never going to hurt her.

Pretty soon by the age of ten, Jane started to slowly but surely get over not being so terrified of thunder. She was able to sleep alone at night, but she would never fully fall asleep until the storm had died down a bit. There were times when it made her anxious, but not as bad as it had been before.

Jim would always make fun of her for being so scared of thunder. It was something that he held against her. But that was so typical of Jim, always a troublemaker and always enjoying scaring or embarrassing someone else for his own enjoyment. Unfortunately, Jane was one of those people he would do that to. From the time they were kids, Jane had fallen victim to Jim’s practical jokes and pranks.

Stupid Jim. Jane always hated him for that.

_“You’re such a chicken!”_

Jim had been six years old at the time when he told her that. Stupid Jim.

_“I am not!”_

Jane was five. Still just as feisty and snooty as she is now.

* * *

 

_Jim snickered. “Yes you are!” He stuck his hands underneath his armpits, using his elbows to flap up and down as if he were a bird. “Jane is a chicken! Buck, buck, buckahhh!” He sing-songed, taunting her._

_“I’m not a chicken!” Her bottom lip quivered, hugging her knees to her chest. “Why are you so mean?!”_

_“Because it’s fun!” He laughed. “Why are you so scared of thunder?”_

_“Because I’m scared that it will crash our house and we’ll all get squished under it!” Jane ducked, clamping her hands on her ears. “And I don’t like loud noises!”_

_Jim laughed, his high-pitched laugh. “What are you talking about? The house won’t crash down.”_

_“Yes it will!” She slid further into the corner of the sofa. “We’re all going to die!”_

_“No we won’t.” He hopped on the sofa and hung himself forward on the arm of the chair so that he was looking down at her. “You worry too much.”_

_She frowned. “No I don’t!”_

_“Yes you do.”_

_“No I don’t!”_

_“Yes you do.”_

_“No I don’t!”_

_“Hey Jane! Look!” He pointed in the direction in front her._

_“Where?” Her eyes followed to where his finger was pointing, only to have the view of the kitchen laid out in front of her. “I don’t see any-“_

_A clap of thunder from the storm. And a boisterous “BOO!” from Jim was enough to send Jane screaming as she bolted from her spot and ran and hid in the kitchen, disappearing behind the kitchen door. And of course, a satisfied Jim rolling on the ground in laughter, tears pooling from his eyes down his cheeks._

* * *

 

Stupid Jim.

Always pulling pranks. Unfortunately Jane was always the one who fell victim to his endless pranks. It was his hobby when he had nothing else better to do in his life. It was part of who he was. Rebellious. His mom was always very strict with him, and she often coddled him, which was how he developed his rebellious behavior in the first place. Especially after his father had walked on him and his mother, things just sort of went downhill for him.

Jane however was the complete opposite.

Always obedient, very organized, always punctual and very much so a neat freak. Jane liked to do things her way. She always thought her way was the right way. She was a planner and she liked to focus her priorities on her future, which is why she always got stuff done. There was no time for slacking. No time for laying back and doing nothing. No time for fun really. That was just how Jane was.

Whereas Jim on the other hand was far any of those things. Jim was more of laid back, have fun and live in the moment type of dude. ‘Why plan for tomorrow when you can have fun today?’ That was his motto. He was more of the one to slack in school, whether it be procrastinating on a school assignment, or deciding not to study for a test and flunk.

Jim and Jane put together, equals opposite.

They were a rather peculiar pair. But sometimes, peculiar could be a good thing.

They were in fact different, Jane mused. Too different. So different.

It would definitely explain the petty fights and arguments that they would usually get in to. Especially during their preteen years at the ages of ten and eleven at the time. Some of their fights would be verbal, maybe even physical (Well not physical in the way of them beating each other to pulp – it was more like head slapping and shin kicking). But it was never anything that was very serious. It was more like the short faze of ‘I hate you! Why don’t you go jump off a cliff?!’ and ‘I hate you more! Go eat worms and die!’ back and forth.

* * *

 

_“No Jim! You’re not supposed to do it that way!”_

_The younger boy rolled his eyes. “Well why can’t I?”_

_The girl had placed a hand on her hip. “Because you’re supposed to do it this way!”_

_They had been arguing for the past ten minutes over how to glue together the pieces to a sailboat they were both assigned to build for their class project. Jane was in the fifth h grade. Jim on the other hand was technically supposed to be in the sixth grade. But unfortunately due to his failing fifth grade the year before, he was required to be held back an extra year._

_So to say, it was out of his control to have to complete the fifth year again. And unfortunately for Jane, she was stuck as his partner. How much she hated their teacher for making such a rash decision._

_“Well what difference does it make whether we do it my way or your way?!”_

_“Because it says so in the instructions!” She grabs the paper and shoves it in his face. “The instructions clearly say that the boat has to be no more than ten centimetres long and two feet high!”_

_“So?”_

_“So?!”_

_“Who says we have to make a sailboat?” Jim was always so nonchalant about these things. “Why don’t we just make a ship?”_

_“What? Jim you-“_

_“Hey, that would actually be so cool!” His eyes suddenly lit up like fireworks. “Let’s a make a ship instead, Jane!”_

_She dragged a hand down her face._

_“Come on! It’ll be cool!” He tossed the paper with the outline aside. “Let’s do it!”_

_“No Jim!”_

_“Yes! We could build the biggest ship with pirates and-“ He paused. “A pirate ship! Jane, we could build a pirate ship! That would be so wicked!”_

_“We’re not building a pirate ship!”_

_“Aww come on, Jane!” His face fell, frowning. “Why not? Think of our grade! We could probably get the highest mark in the class!”_

_“I said no Jim!” She crossed her arms over her chest. “We’re not making a ship! And neither are we making a pirate ship! We are making a sailboat!”_

_Now he was moping. “Gosh Jane, why you gotta be such a party pooper?”_

_“I’m not party pooper!”_

_“Yes you are.”_

_“No I’m not!”_

_“Yes you are.”_

_“No I’m not!”_

_“Yes you are!”_

_“Ugh!” If she had the permission to drop kick this boy to mars as her assignment instead, then she would’ve gladly had done so already and probably would’ve received a %110 on the assignment. “Why’re you so annoying?”_

_“Me? You’re the one that’s annoying!”_

_“No I’m not! It’s you who’s always so lazy!”_

_“Hey! I’m not lazy!” He stood from the sofa, chin pointed in the air. “At least I know how to have fun!”_

_“What? I do so know how to have fun!”_

_“Oh yeah?” He challenged, smirking. “Then prove it, miss goody two-shoes!”_

_“I am not a goody two-shoes!” She stood and looked right up at him, the distance between them now nonexistent._

_“Yes you are.”_

_“No I’m not!”_

_“Are so.”_

_“Am not!”_

_“Are so.”_

_“You’re a lazy butt-face!”_

_The insult had caught him slightly off guard, his jaw dropped. “Oh yea? Well then…you’re a…a…” He tried so hard to look for a good come back, clearly not wanting to lose the argument. “You’re a goody-two shoes smelly face!”_

_Now her jaw dropped. “Ugh, I hate you!” She shoved him. “Go jump off a cliff!”_

_“Oh yeah? Well I hate you too!” He shoved her back, a little bit too hard. “Go eat worms and die!”_

_“Fine!”_

_“Fine!”_

_And they turned in the opposite direction. Backs facing one another’s, arms crossed over their chests. Neither of them dared to make the first move, or make the first sound._

* * *

 

Yup. Those were indeed the good ol’ days. Constantly bickering back and forth over the smallest things. That was how their relationship worked. It was funny to think that everyone, including Jane’s mothers, thought that they bickered and argued like an old married couple. Actually, they would quarrel quite often. More so than a married couple would. Jane would always remember that even Daniel had once told her;

‘You and Jim are gonna get married one day, Janey!’

‘No we’re not, Daniel!’ She had said back to him and ruffled his hair. ‘You silly boy!’

They practically were a married couple. Everyone else saw it. But they didn’t. They were pretty much glued to the hip. They did everything together. Movies. Dinner. Coffee. Breakfast. They would always be up on the telephone with one another until two or three in the morning talking about almost anything that came to mind or to keep each other posted on the latest gossip. Sometimes they would be up longer until both their mothers would scold them up for being up so late, lecture them and then bid them goodnight until both lines were cut. Often they went for morning walks together in their favorite park (Handsworth Park). Heck, they even did grocery shopping together whenever Jane or Jim’s mother needed more foods to put in the house, enough to make a decent meal to put on the table for dinner time.

They did almost everything a married couple would do. The kissing, handholding, and a ring on the finger being eliminated from the equation.

Sometimes they would talk about marriage. But it was never anything serious. It was more like two close friends being comfortable enough to talk to each other about anything. And that, they were extremely comfortable with.

* * *

 

_“Do you think you’re ever gonna get married, Jim?” She had asked him one time. Being twelve and extra curious was something that Jane had adapted to because well after all, she was at that stage where puberty was starting to take over. “Do you?”_

_The thirteen year old shrugged. “I dunno.” He takes a bite into his hot dog, mustard smeared on the corner of his mouth. “Dun really care.”_

_“You don’t care?” She looked at him quizzically. “You don’t think you’re ever going to get married someday?”_

_He shrugged again. “I dunno, I don’t think about that stuff.”_

_This time she frowned. “How come?”_

_He rolled his eyes. “Because, I just don’t.”_

_“Never? Not even once?”_

_“Nope.”_

_“But, haven’t you ever pictured yourself marrying the girl of your dreams?” She herself painted an image of her own person standing in a beautiful gown, staring into the eyes of the man of her dreams._

_Why the sudden questions about marriage from his best friend all of sudden? He would never know. But then again, girls usually always got googly eyed and giddy about this kind of stuff. It was one of the perks about him having a close female friend in the first place. He watched as she sighed, a dreamy sigh and he did nothing but roll his eyes once again, resisting the urge to gag._

_He scarfed down the last bite of his hot dog. “Haven’t met her yet.” He says in between chews, licking his fingers. “She doesn’t exist.”_

_She was suddenly brought back to the harsh reality. “That’s bogus!” This time she glared. “Of course she exists! How can you say that she doesn’t?”_

_“Because she just doesn’t.” Then he let out a deafening burp. “Just like how your dream boy doesn’t exist either.”_

_She gaped. “He does too exist!” Arms fold over her chest, and then she paused. “He’s just….taking his time.”_

_“I’ll say.” He chuckled, unbuttoning his pants so that his food belly could breathe. “He sure is taking his sweet time.”_

_“Well so is your dream girl!”_

_He thought for a moment, then shrugged. “Hm, maybe she is.” Arms went to rest behind his head. “Maybe she isn’t. Who knows?”_

_“She is Jim.”_

_“Eh, I don’t think I’m gonna get married.”_

_Another frown. “Why not?”_

_This time, he sighs. “I dunno.” His answer was honest, though there was slight disappointment in his tone. “I don’t think it would be for me.”_

_“Of course it is dummy!” She flicks his nose, an ‘oww!’ was his response. “I mean, just think about living in a big and beautiful home with your dream girl!” Jane delighted at the thought of that. “Living in your own house! Having as many children as you want!” She sighed again, grasping her pen to her chest, the excitement twinkling in her eyes. “You get to tell stories to your children…”_

_“Heh, yeah…..” His tone lacked any humor. “I don’t think that’s for me, Jane.”_

_“Oh come on Jim! Stop being so ridiculous!”_

_“Well what do you expect?” Now it was his turn to frown in her direction. “I just don’t think that I’m gonna get married.”_

_She scoffed. “Why do you always have to be so…?”_

_“So…..what?”_

_She searched for the right word. “So….gloomy?”_

_He thought for a moment, then gave his shoulders another shrug. “Eh, because it’s just who I am.” And then he smiled, his mischievous smile._

_Jane rolled her eyes, sighing and ignored that last comment before she picked up her pencil and began working on finishing up for her homework._

* * *

 

Good ol’ Jim. He was never one to be over the top about marriage. It was something that he never thought of, or even cared to think about. Looking back six years ago, it was ironic to think that he was engaged. He was going to be married.

Jim? Married?

Another clap of thunder and she was awakened from her thoughts. The sky was grayer than usual, thanks for the drastic change in weather outside. The rain came pouring down more rapidly than it had before. Stupid thunder. Her window was soaked with slithers of raindrops running down the glass. Goose flesh rolled up her arms, shivering, realizing that her t-shirt wasn’t going to help keep her warm.

She goes to fetch something warmer to where. Her room still messy from having been rummaged earlier. Her blouses and t-shirts and sweaters scattered all over her bedroom floor, pants and skirts hanging off the edge of her bed, bras in puddles at her feet. Her backpack was thrown to opposite side, while the rest of her papers and sticky notes were scattered in another. She had forgotten to clean up her room after she messed it up. Usually, this sight would horrify her. But with the morning/afternoon she’d been having, having a messy room was nothing. She could care less. It was the least of her worries at the moment.

It didn’t take her long to catch sight of her sweatshirt (and a rather large fitting one) hanging lifelessly from the edge of her bed. She grabbed it and quickly threw it over her head and was embraced with the warmth that it offered her body. She hugs her arms to her chest, noting that the sweatshirt was practically a dress on her.

A deep sigh, and she goes to her mirror that was right next to her bed, wedged between the bed and her study desk. Her reflection stood in the glass before her, staring right into the eyes of the identical person standing in front. It wasn’t her reflection that her gaze was trained on. Rather, it was focused on the sweatshirt she had on.

It was big, long and black. Cotton material with a hoodie. The writing on it read Lazy But Talented. It was printed in calligraphy. Jim’s sweatshirt. This sweatshirt had belonged to Jim. The words written on it said it all. He would always refer to himself as a lazy kid, but he was heck of a talented one.

Now that was something Jane could agree on.

Every word described him perfectly. It literally fit his personality and everything that he stands for. Not only was he just a lazy, rebellious young boy, but he was also very skilled and talented in certain areas. Certain areas that were more so in his interest. Skateboarding and riding the motorcycle were his two favorite hobbies. Even sometimes drawing would meet his interest. He was a pro at all of them.

Another sigh. Jane inhaled slowly, and exhaled, hugging the sweater closer to her. Her body trying to soak as much warmth as it could get from it. His scent still lingered. A scent that was musky, yet somewhat sweet. He always enjoyed the outdoors. There was never a day where he wouldn’t not be outside and letting the wind bite at his cheeks and run through his hair, whether it be skateboarding or being on his motorcycle.

Jane loved that about him. She loved how he was so adventurous and so daring. Despite the fact that often acted like his daring side was of nothing but a nuisance to her, secretly, she enjoyed it. She enjoyed his company.

She remembered that he had given his sweatshirt to her as peace offering. She never forgot that day. It was vivid in her memory.

* * *

 

_“Hey.” He came and sat next to her on the couch. “You okay?”_

_She glared at him, arms crossed over her chest. Eyes pretty much signalling that he was about to meet his doom any second._

_“How’s your knee and ankle? Did it get worse?”_

_Her gaze ventured to her knee, leg stretched out on the table. Her ankle was wrapped up in a tensor bandage while her knee was bandaged up on its own, with bits of blood dried up from its previous bleeding sessions. It was a nasty fall she had taken. Well, that was courteously of her rebellious friend. She ignored his question and pouted._

_“Come on Jane.” He was desperate, sympathy in his look. “I said I was sorry!”_

_“Hmph!” Was her response. She turned her head away from him, nose pointed in the air. “You should be.”_

_Jim adjusted his body so that now he was properly facing the stubborn girl sitting next him. “Come on, what’s it gonna take for you to forgive me?”_

_Silence was the answer she’d given him. Not a single word. Not like he deserved it anyway._

_“Alright, fine.” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “I’ll admit, I shouldn’t have let you ride my skateboard alone.”_

_Now she turned to face him. “It wasn’t that you made me ride your skateboard by myself! You let me fall and crash into a wall!”_

_“So…it was just a little fall, Jane.”_

_“Just a little fall?!” She was right in his face now. “It wasn’t just a little fall! Practically every single eighth grader laughed at me! And so did you!”_

_A groan as he dragged his hand down his face. Clearly her anger towards him was definitely not going to disperse any time soon. That was how Jane operated. When she was mad at you, then she was mad. Getting her to forgive you (especially once someone has crossed the line with her) would be like asking pigs to fly. A million to nothing. Jim himself was already in hot water with her as it is._

_“I didn’t mean to.”_

_“Yes you did.” Her bottom lip quivered. “I felt so humiliated.”_

_“Jane,” His tone was soft, trying to reason with her. “It’s just a cut and a sprain. It’s not the end of the world.”_

_“Easy for you to say. You weren’t the one who was laughed at and called a klutz.”_

_“Jane, why are you making this such a big deal?”_

_“Because, stupid,” She punched his arm, “I wasn’t just being made fun of from the eighth graders! You joined in with them!” She paused. “Actually, you were the one who initiated it! That’s why I’m mad!”_

_“Alright, alright.” He holds up his hands in surrender. “I’m sorry, okay?”_

_“Sorry isn’t going to cut it, Jim.” Her eyes began to well up with tears. “I wasn’t expecting everyone else to laugh. Especially you.” She picks at the hole in the knitted blanket. “I thought you were my friend.”_

_“I am.”_

_“You sure have a funny way of showing it.”_

_“I am still your friend, Jane.” He says. “People make mistakes. Even friends make mistakes too.”_

_“Clearly.” She looks down miserably at her immobile leg. “Seems like I made a mistake too.”_

_“What kind of mistake?”_

_“Having you as my friend.”_

_He blinked once. Then another. Jane was usually one to exaggerate over everything. Those words that had just come out of her mouth, that was a first. That was something she normally never said, and it had caught Jim off guard. Way off guard. Had he upset her that much? He wasn’t able to find a response that was good enough to top that. It was clear she had won that battle._

_Come to think of it, Jane would never say anything as drastic as that. And the words had kind of stung. Actually they stung a lot. Maybe more so than he was expecting. He stared at the female sitting next to him, unsure of what to say next. His friend was angry, all because of him. How he could be so stupid and selfish? He himself would never know. It was bad enough that she was humiliated in front of the eighth graders (how thirteen year olds could be so cruel?), but what’s worse was the fact that he himself had joined in on the humiliation. She was hurt more by his childish behavior and lack of compassion at the time. More so than she was hurt and embarrassed by the rest of her peers._

_If it hadn’t have been for his foolish stunts, maybe she wouldn’t be cooped up in the house with a sprained ankle. The cut on her knee was much bigger than he had anticipated it to be and it looked like her ankle was getting more swollen by the minute._

_He adjusts his body so that they’re sitting side by side, twiddling his fingers. “I really am sorry, Jane.” He turns to look at her. “Really, I am.”_

_She’s quiet, refusing to answer._

_“I shouldn’t have laughed.” He really shouldn’t have in the first place. “It was stupid and selfish of me to do that.”_

_Still, no answer._

_“I guess things would’ve been better if I had just stood up for you back there.”_

_This time, she does turn to look at him. “Gee, you think?” She says in a matter of fact._

_“I guess I deserved that one.”_

_“Yea, you did.”_

_He runs his hand through his hair. “Would it make you feel any better if I went to beat those kids up?”_

_“Jim, there’s a literally a hundred of them, and one of you.” An eye roll. “I doubt you will stand a chance.”_

_“Says who?” A small smile in hopes of getting one in return from her. “I’m in the infamous Jim Hawkins! Y’know, like you always call me! Right?”_

_No response. Not a laugh. Not even a single smile. Just a glare, a ‘hmph’ and then she turned in the opposite direction._

_Another sigh. “Never mind. Maybe that wouldn’t work after all.” He tilts his head down. “Want me to take you on a ride on my motorcycle?”_

_He didn’t have to look at her to know that he was already receiving the ‘death’ stare. And immediately he felt uncomfortable, shifting slightly to the opposite side. “Your stupid skateboard is what got me into this mess!” She pointed at her leg. “I think I’m done playing with your childish toys!”_

_“Alright….” He drew out of the word. “I guess that’s a definite no.”_

_“Hmph.”_

_Then a thought came to his mind. “What about candy?”_

_Surprisingly, this reeled in her interest. “Depends.” She cocked a brow. “What kind of candy?”_

_“I dunno, skittles?”_

_She scrunched up her nose and glared. “No.” And then turned away from him._

_“A movie?”_

_“No.”_

_“Well then what else do you want from me, Jane? I’ve already tried everything!”_

_“Well try harder.”_

_He groaned, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re stubborn, you know that?”_

_“And you’re stupid!”_

_He leaned his head back. Jane definitely wasn’t an easy girl to please. It would take more than just an offer of candy and a movie to please someone like her. He noted her shivering, witnessing the goose bumps that were fresh on her bare arms. There was a slight chill all of sudden that came out of nowhere. Clearly, the blanket wasn’t doing enough to keep her warm._

_“Cold?”_

_She was tempted to ignore him, but instead she decided against it at the last minute. “Kind of.”_

_He looked down at his sweatshirt. His favorite sweatshirt. Lazy But Talented. It was warm, extremely warm. It was one of the reasons why he loved it in the first place. He cast a glance at her, then back down at his sweatshirt. Maybe it could help ease the situation? But then again, this was Jane he was talking about. He had to think about it for a moment. Maybe it didn’t hurt to try?_

_He stood from the couch, earning a curious glance from the girl sitting next to him. “Here,” He starts peeling the sweatshirt from his body. “You want my sweater?” He held out the object in front of her_

_She looked up at him, then back to the object dangling from his hand. Then she switched her glance to look back up at him._

_“It’ll keep you warm.” He tells her. “Just take it.”_

_She was sceptical at first, but then she reluctantly (and much to his surprise) accepts it. Throwing it over her head, the sweater was practically like a dress on her, but she immediately felt the warmth that it had to offer. “Thank you.” She mumbles, her expression still bitter, but slightly grateful._

_“No worries.” He sits down next to her, his t-shirt clinging to his body. “You warm now?”_

_She nods. “Yes.”_

_“Good.”_

_Silence fell amongst them. The only sound consisting of the wind blowing delicately outside. Her windows weren’t sound proof, so she pretty much heard everything that was going on in the outdoors. Jane hummed softly, thoughtfully and a small smile graced her features. Realizing just how warm and toasty she was. She turned to look at Jim._

_“Thanks, Jim.”_

_He glanced at her. “You’re welcome.” He returns the smile, though he was slightly hesitant. “Do you still hate me?”_

_A small chuckle. “Surprisingly, no. You’re forgiven.”_

_“Thank god.” And a laugh from her. “Wanna get some ice cream?”_

_Now she looked sceptical. “But…I can’t walk. And plus it’s too cold for ice cream.” A pause, before she looked him up and down. “And you’re gonna be cold too.”_

_He began to take that into consideration. “Or….how about a hot chocolate?”_

_She fingered the jaw strings attached the sweater. “I like that better.”_

_He smiled. “Me too.”_

* * *

 

Jim wasn’t always a rebel. He had his sweet moments. That day had been one of them. Jane knew that her best friend did have a sweet heart deep down inside. It was slightly unfortunate that it was masked by all his rebellious and troublesome tactics. He was a good guy. Smart too. It was too bad that even someone like Jim himself was never able realize. His life didn’t always revolve around skateboarding and lazing around (especially not the way how Jane had exaggerated).

If it was one thing about Jim that Jane knew about him was that he always followed orders. If someone were to tell Jim to do something, he would do it. No ifs, ands or buts. Even if it took him longer to finish, he always completed what needed to be done. That was one of the reasons why he and his mother got along so well. He respected his mother. That was one person whom Jim would never even think of crossing the line with. Whenever she needed his help, he always lent a helping hand to her aid.

Jim wasn’t so bad after all. Jane knew that. After all, he was her best and pretty much only friend. He was someone who could always be counted on. There would be times when she would run crying to him about the older kids picking on her and he would calm her down, give her some advice (mainly telling her to man up and stop being a baby), and then go fight off any slugger that dared tried to cross her path again.

Even when it came to ‘boy’ problems, he was always there to talk and give the best advice he could.

* * *

 

_“Richard broke up with me.” She told him, sniffling and wiping away the tears. “He dumped me.”_

_Jim sighed. “He’s a loser, Jane.”_

_“No he’s not! I’m the one that’s the loser!” She blows her nose into her tissue. “He broke up with me for another girl! Okay?”_

_“So?”_

_She paused from her actions, frowning with puffy eyes. “So? How can you say ‘so’ Jim?! Did you not hear what I just said?!” She had said a little too loudly, noting the curious gazes from their fellow peers being sent their way._

_“Shh.” He put a finger to her lips, glancing around the library. “I don’t get what the big deal is.”_

_Being in a stuffy library surrounded by a bunch of sweaty teenagers didn’t stop her from slugging him in the arm, earning an “oww!” from him. Maybe coming to the library to talk wasn’t such a great idea after all. “What the bloody hell do you mean ‘you don’t see what the big deal is?! He likes another girl!”_

_He’s nursing his bruised arm. “Jane-“_

_“Another girl who’s probably prettier than me!” Her voice goes shaky, and the sob is wedged in her throat. “And…and…” She starts hiccupping. “And she’s probably smarter than me! And funnier and nicer and…..ugh I can’t believe he would do this to me!”_

_“Jane-“_

_“I thought he liked me, Jim.” Another blow into the tissue. “I really thought he did. I can’t believe I was so stupid to fall for a guy like him.”_

_“Jane,” He tilts her chin to look up at him. “That girl isn’t pretty. Nor is she smart, or funny.”_

_This earns him a look in bewilderment. “And how do you know that?” She pushes his hand away, wiping miserably at her tears. “You haven’t even met her! Do you even know what she looks like?”_

_“No. Don’t have to.”_

_“So how could you say that she’s not pretty when you don’t even know what she looks like?”_

_“Because,” He looks into her tearful eyes. “I don’t have to. I’m already looking at a girl who’s way prettier.”_

_She blinks rapidly, confused. She stops crying, though her face is still stained with tears and her eyes puffy. Her gaze is met with his, neither of them refusing to let go. Jim wasn’t usually one to go all soft and mushy. This was definitely a different side to him that Jane was just beginning to see._

_“Wha….” A hand going to wipe her face. “What are you talking about?”_

_“Jane,” He turns so that he’s facing her directly. “From what I see, there’s no other girl out there that’s prettier than you, smarter than you or more fun to be with.”_

_She forces a chuckle through her teeth. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”_

_“No, I’m not.” He shakes his head, and she realizes that seriousness in his eyes. “I mean it.”_

_“But Jim, I just….” She looks down, picking at the hole in her jeans. “I just feel so awful.”_

_“I know you do, but guess what?” A curious gaze. “You’ll get over it. Sooner or later, you will.” A smile. “I promise.”_

_“Richard…..he won’t.”_

_“That’s his loss. I actually feel sorry for him. He doesn’t realize what he’s missing out on.”_

_He receives a smile (though there’s still pain in her eyes) in response. And she wipes away the rest of her tears. “You really think so?”_

_“Of course.” He nudges her arm. “In time, that Richard guy won’t even matter.” He places his hand on her knee. “He’ll realize what an idiot he was for making such a big mistake. Don’t worry, he’s gonna feel awful for the rest of his life.”_

_She studies him through her slightly blurry vision. “That’s….the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me, Jim.” She pauses. “What happened to your typical ‘boy brain’ and you making fun of me?”_

_“Hey, well I have my sensitive moments too y’know!” He laughs. “I’m not always the bad boy.”_

_She slugs his arm. “You’re such a good friend, Jim.” She smiles at him. “I mean that.”_

_He smiles at her, and gives her knee a tight but reassuring squeeze. “You’ll be fine. I know you will be.”_

_“Thank you for being there for me.” She places her hand over his. “For listening to me vent and seeing me cry like a baby.”_

_This time, he leans in to give her a hug and she returns it by wrapping her arms around his neck. “Any time, Jane. Any time.”_

* * *

 

Richard. Jane remembered him. He had been her first boyfriend in the ninth grade. The relationship wasn’t anything that special. It only lasted for about three months, until he decided to end things between them for a popular, blonde haired and blue eyed cheerleader. The typical girl that any other football player went for. He was sophomore, while Jane had been a freshmen. He was the typical dreamy guy that every single girl drooled over. Tall, athletic muscular physique, dark hair, tanned skin and green eyes. It was no wonder every girl fell for him the minute he flashed that brilliant smile, his teeth white like pearls, it was like looking at a strobe of lights in his mouth. Every girl crushed on him, even Jane.

She felt stupid for being so head over heels in love someone who was so shallow and had the IQ of a chipmunk. But the thing is, it wasn’t love. There had been absolutely no love whatsoever between them. It was just a matter of her all of sudden becoming popular with having the hottest guy in the school on her arm. Sadly, Richard was too busy looking at other girls – cheerleaders mainly – to notice Jane. Now when Jane looks back on it, she was grateful that was able to get over him in a week or so.

She could thank Jim for that one.

What would she have done if Jim hadn’t been there for her that day to cheer her up? She would never know. The important thing was that he was there. He was always there.

A knock on her bedroom door forced her thoughts on hold. Jumping slightly, realizing that she had still been standing looking at herself in the mirror. Without even so much as a warning, her door swung open. Little Daniel poked his head in.

“Daniel? When did you get home?” She was confused. Had she been so wrapped up in her thoughts to the point where she didn’t even hear the front door open?

“I got home not too long ago.” He frowned. “Didn’t you hear me yelling ‘helloo’?”

“Oh….” She wrapped her arms around herself. “Guess not.”

“Hey!” He pointed towards her. “Are you wearing that sweatshirt again?”

“Oh!” She looked down. “This old thing?”

“Yeeaaa….the one that Jim gave you.” His brows furrowed. “Don’t you remember?”

“He did?” A quizzical look. “Oh that’s right!” She forced a laugh, pretending to sound genuinely surprised. “He did give this to me, didn’t he?”

The little boy slapped a hand to his forehead, and drew it down his face. Oh how he wondered how his big sister could be so dumb and oblivious sometimes.

“Janey…” He shook his head. “You are sooo forgetful. Even I remembered that Jim gave you that sweatshirt. It wasn’t that long ago y’know!”

She put her hands on her hips. “Well hey! Sometimes I….” She paused, fishing for the right words. “I just forget these things, okay?” She turns back to her mirror.

“Someone’s getting old….” Daniel sing-songed, slowly disappearing behind the door.

“Hey!”

A pillow was viciously tossed at the door. In came little Daniel, sticking his tongue out and then disappeared for good, slamming the door shut. She glared, listening as his footfalls slowly began to fade out and moved towards her bed. She lay back, crossing her arms over her chest and glared at the ceiling, still in Jim’s sweatshirt.

She could take it off and act like she never even realized that she still had it. But she refused. It was the only piece that was left of him. It was the only thing that would bring her as close to Jim as possible. It was almost as if she could feel his presence still lingering beneath that sweatshirt. The feel of his body. The feel of his arms wrapped around her.

She exhaled, sighing a long sigh. What she would to do to embrace him. To kiss him.

As much as she hated to admit it, Daniel had been right. Everyone had been.

Jane had fallen madly in love with Jim. And she still loved him. To this very day. The love that she’s had for him never vanished. The feeling was still alive and well inside of her.

What’s even worse was that Jim had fallen in desperately in love with her. He was the first one to have done so. He was the first to admit it, and he had been proud to have done so. He couldn’t hold back any longer.

* * *

 

_“Jane,” Her blue eyes met his brown ones, curious. “There’s um….” He broke the gaze, looking down at the ground, rocking on his heels. “There’s something I need…..to….” Another pause. “To tell you.”_

_Why he dragged her to Hansworth Park when it was well after her curfew on a chilly night? She would never know. Apparently what Jim had to tell her was urgent._

_She blinks once, then another. “Okay. What is it, Jim?”_

_This time, his gaze is back on hers. He stares right at her, almost as if he were peering straight into her soul. Her breath caught in her throat, and he blinks rapidly, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets before he takes a tentative step closer towards her._

_“I-I….” A pause. “I like you, Jane.”_

_She surprises him by chuckling and he was certain he could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks almost immediately. It wasn’t exactly the kind of response he had been hoping for._

_“Jim,” She smiles, a goofy smile. “I like you too.” A pause from her, hope filled his insides. “I mean, we’re best friends. Right?”_

_Then his smile slowly fades. A troublesome look outlines his features. Definitely not the answer he was waiting for._

_A furrow of her brow. “Jim, why the long face all of-?”_

_“I like you.” He says again. “A lot, Jane. I like you a lot”._

_“And I like you a lot too Jim.” She slugs his shoulder. “Seriously, you’ve been my best friend for such a-“_

_“I like you more than just a friend!” He blurts out, definitely not expecting that to come out so soon. “I-I….”_

_She blinks again, eyes wide in shock. “Jim,” She fishes for the right words. “I-I…..what?”_

_“Jane,” He takes her hand in his. “I’m in love with you. I always have been.”_

_“Jim….”_

_“I love you, Jane.” Her hand stiff in his, unsure of how to react. “I’ve always loved you. Ever since the day we met, I’ve been in love with you since then.”_

_She was quiet. He was quiet. Silence falling slowly amongst the two, pressing down on them. The only sounds consisted of the swoosh of the wind blowing delicately around them, biting at their cheeks. She wasn’t sure what to think, or how she was supposed to react. Or if she even should react._

_‘Jim loves me?’ She thought. ‘But….how?’_

_The real question is, did she feel the same way? ‘Do I feel the same way….’_

_This was Jim! Her best friend! The only guy she’s known since they were practically in diapers! They grew up together! It was really only because their moms were so close with another before. After all, Jim is the only guy she could ever confide in._

_‘Could I be…”_

_She mentally scolded herself. Again, this is Jim we’re talking about here. That same guy who constantly makes fun of her for her fear of thunderstorms. That same guy who prefers skateboards and dirt racing over homework and responsibilities. That same guy who would rather stuff twenty hotdogs down his stomach than talk about serious stuff. Even that same guy who still sleeps with his stuffed teddy bear Mr. Burrito._

_That Jim._

_So how could she be in love with her best friend?_

_“Jane….”_

_“Jim,” She looks him right in the eye. “Y-you’re my best friend.” She pauses. “We’re close friends. You-“ Another pause, pulling her hand from his grip. “You’re like my brother.”_

_Immediately, she regretted the words that had come from her mouth. All hope was lost, faded from his features and rubs the back of his neck, gaze back to staring at the ground. “Oh.” Was all he could say. “So….you just see me as…your brother?”_

_She presses her lips together. “Yes.” Though the answer was a bit of lie. “I’m sorry.”_

_“But-“ He stops himself before he could go any further. “Jane I….I don’t get it.”_

_Now it was her turn to furrow her brow. “You don’t get what exactly?”_

_“This.” He motions between the two. “Us.”_

_“There is no ‘us’, Jim.”_

_“But there can be.” Because Jim was young boy of hope._

_“Jim, the only us there is, is being best friends.” Even explaining this to him already seemed like a challenge. “We’re friends. Best friends. That’s not going to change.”_

_“Well why can’t it?”_

_“Because….” She shakes her head, growing somewhat agitated. “I already explained why.”_

_“Because we’re best friends? That’s really all you see me as?”_

_“Yes.”_

_He stares, before huffing and turning his head in the opposite direction. “Wow.”_

_“Wow what?” She places a hand to her hip, glaring. “What’s that supposed to mean?”_

_He wasn’t sure if he should even bother. The question was, was it worth the risk of being brutally honest with his best friend? Or was it best to just leave the things way it was and pretend like none of this happened?_

_“I basically just confess my feelings to you.” He keeps his gaze trained on the moonlight above. “And then you just….” Another shake of the head. “You just…..reject me.” He turns to look at her._

_“Reject you?” Her other hand found her other hip. “Well what the bloody hell was I supposed to say then?”_

_“Gee, maybe that you might feel the same way about me too!”_

_“What?” She gasped. “That I’m in love with you?! Are you insane?! I don’t feel that way about you Jim!”_

_He blinks, then slowly nods, her words seeping with acid. Immediately she regretted the words that came out of her mouth. Clearly this was huge mistake to even pursue something as drastic as this. In no way shape or form, had he expected this night to pan out the way that it did._

_“Jim, I-“_

_“Save it, Jane.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and looks in the opposite direction. “Forget everything I said.”_

* * *

 

Her eyes snap open. How she could’ve been such an idiot at the time? She could never understand why. It was complete rubbish for the way she acted, something that she had picked up from her mother at a wee age. Jane never understood why she had said all those terrible things to Jim. But at the same time, she never really understood her true feelings for him anyways.

The feeling had been so new to her. Something she least expected to happen. At the sweet age of sixteen, it was the first and only time a guy had ever confessed that he was in love with her. And that guy had to be Jim, her best friend. Maybe it was the fact that the older one gets, the more they start to become more aware of their feelings on the inside. Jane had envied Jim for being able to discover what it really was that he felt. Whereas with her, she had still been learning.

Fortunately, for her it didn’t have to take long to figure out what it was that she wanted. And what it was that she felt desperately on the inside. The truth was, she loved Jim. Not just love him for the heck of it, but actually love him.

She was in love with him. And she realized that.

* * *

 

_“Jim,”_

_She decided to call him up that night, desperate for him to hear what was needed to be said. It didn’t take that long to convince him, although he did sound a bit bitter on the phone. So now here they were, sitting on Jane’s front porch at the wee hours of the night._

_“I need to tell you something.”_

_His gaze lingers amongst the misted sheet of dark land that loomed above them. The sky was decorated with the stars glittering in his wake. He rests his arms on his thighs, rubbing his hands together to keep warm from the sudden chill that ran up his spine. Maybe sitting on the front porch of Jane’s house wasn’t such a good idea after all._

_“What?”_

_She takes a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for the worst. Fingers picking at the hem of her jacket._

_“I love you….”_

_His head snaps in her direction, gaze meeting hers for what seemed like eternity. “W-what did you just say?”_

_She swallows back a lump. “I said I…..” She looks down. “I love you.”_

_He blinks, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. “You do?” He tried his best to hide the enthusiasm._

_A nod. “I really do, Jim.” Then she looks up. “I just…..I didn’t know what I wanted.” She puts a hand on his, his hand cold against hers. “I never realized that…..that I felt the same way you do.” Gaze locked with his. “I’ve always felt the same way about you.”_

_“Jane-“_

_“I was scared.” She continues on. “I was just….scared that…”_

_She feels as he places a hand to her cheek. His touch so delicate. “Scared of what?”_

_“Scared of…” She motions between the two. “This.”_

_“Scared of….us?”_

_She nodded. “I don’t want us to tear up our friendship. You mean so much to me and I…..” She paused. “I don’t want to lose you. Ever.”_

_He gently strokes her cheek. “You’re not gonna lose me.” He whispers. “You never will. I’ll always be in your life.”_

_“How can you be so sure?”_

_“Because I know. You just have to trust me.”_

_“I do trust you.”_

_He smiles, and she returns it, placing her hand over the one on her cheek. Her hand was soft and warm against his cold one. The distance between them was non-existent._

_“So uh….” Jim furrows his brow. “Is this the part where we kiss now?”_

_She laughed, rolling her eyes, before slapping him lightly on the leg for ruining the moment already. “I would say it is.”_

_“Okay.” He nodded. “Cool. So….are you gonna kiss me first? Or is that the guys’ job?”_

_“Just kiss me, stupid!”_

_His lips were on hers. They were soft, and he was gentle. Their mouths moving simultaneously together, neither of them wanting it to end. It was good. Really good. In fact, it was the best thing that she’s experienced in her life. Pretty soon, the kiss grew more urgent, becoming more aggressive and eager, hungry even…._

* * *

 

That was the first time her and Jim had ever kissed. It was her first kiss she’s ever had to be exact. It had been the most exciting day of her life and she would never forget that night. It was like a romantic scene that played out in her head over and over again. Something that was constantly on repeat, and she would not dare rewind or fast forward through it.

Ever since that night, things had moved forward smoothly. Despite the fact that they did have a few first awkward dates, they were able to move past it. They would sneak out on dates a couple of times though. Eventually they both gathered up the courage to explain to their mothers that they were both taking their relationship to the next level. Their mothers were ecstatic of course. Jane’s mother gave Jim her blessing to continue seeing her daughter. Jim’s mother was more than excited to begin referring to Jane as her future daughter-in-law.

It was just like everyone else had predicted. They were practically a married couple. And this time, the hand holding, the heated make out sessions and the cute letters were now included into the equation. The only thing missing was a ring on the finger to seal the deal. But they were way too young for that. They would have plenty of time to plan for that further along in the future.

All they wanted was to enjoy themselves. Enjoy being together. Enjoy the fact that they had decided to try something new in their relationship. The friendship they’ve had all those years was still alive and well between the two. But they love that they shared for each other was much greater. Almost like it was heating up faster than they had thought. But they didn’t care.

There would be times where almost every day after school, Jim would take Jane to their favorite park, find a secluded area near their favorite tree stump and kiss her. The two newly young lovers never being able to keep their hands off one another.

They were young. They were madly in love.

* * *

 

_“I got this for you.”_

_Jane took the box, velvet fabric underneath her touch. “What is it?”_

_He smiles. “Open it and see for yourself.”_

_So she does. And what was inside that little box was something that she least expected. A silver object winked at her, gasping as she took gently took it out of the box. Little charms of two hearts, two daisies and a little miniature ice cream shaped charm dangled delicately in her grasp._

_“You got me a bracelet?” She looks at him, shocked but the excitement still there._

_“Not just any bracelet, a charm bracelet.” Jim takes it from her hand, and clasps it around her wrist. “I know how much you really wanted one of those.”_

_She smiles, looking down at the bracelet wrapped around her wrist, fiddling around with the charms. A furrow of her brow before her gaze is back on his. “Jim, where did you get this?”_

_He chuckles, a nervous one. “Oh….I uh,” and rubs the back of his neck, “I made it actually.”_

_She blinks rapidly. “You made this?”_

_“Yea.” He swallows hard. “Just for you.”_

_She’s chances another look down at the bracelet. “Oh.” It was beautiful. She’s about to open her mouth to speak, but he beats her to it._

_“I know it’s not…glamorous or anything but, I-I figured,” He’s fiddling his fingers, “that you might like something that was…y’know….more homemade.”_

_“Jim I-“_

_“I bought the charms.” He looks at her. “The silver chain I’ve had ever since I was kid. My grandfather passed it down to me, before he died.” He takes her hand, and rubs her knuckles. “He said that no matter what, to always were this chain, because it was good luck. And it would protect me from any harm.”_

_“And what about the charms?” She dangles her hand before him. “Are they symbolic?”_

_“Yes. Yes they are.”_

_A smile graced her features. “Why these charms specifically though?”_

_“Umm…well for starters,” He brings her hand down to better inspect the jewellery. “I know that daises are you favorite flowers.” He points at the uniquely shaped charm. “Whenever you’re angry or sad, you always go for ice cream.” He looks at her, then smiles, a nervous smile. “And the hearts....”_

_“What about them?”_

_“You just have such a big heart, Jane. In fact, you have one of the biggest hearts that I know.”_

_The heat rushed to her cheeks. “Really?”_

_“Really.”_

_“So, you went through the trouble of making this for me.” She looks at him. “Why?”_

_His turn to chuckle. “Because I love you.” He takes her hand and places a gentle kiss on her knuckles. “I-I hope you like it.”_

_She leans in and places a kiss on his cheek, then his lips. “I love it.” Then places another to his lips a second time. “And I love you too.”_

* * *

 

Jane stared the item, fingers playing with the charms. It was only four months into their relationship when Jim had given her the charm bracelet. It may have been a little soon for something so meaningful such as this, but it was one of the best gifts that she had ever received from him. Ever since the day Jim had gave her that charm bracelet, it was like the item was glued to her wrist. Not once did she ever take it off. In fact, she’d enjoyed showing it off to her friends, and to her mother and Daniel.

The best part was that the gift wasn’t just for a special occasion. Jim gave it to her just because. Never in her life had Jane ever felt so loved, so protected and so worthy. Jim had made sure to treat her like she was the only girl in the world that he had eyes for.  
When it came to public displays of affection, Jane had definitely blossomed out of her shell with that one. She would always sneak Jim a kiss whenever she had the opportunity. They were so in love that it made her friends sick. And of course, it even made Daniel sick too. They often snuck to their favorite park at night just to make out and of course, look at the stars and reminisce about their lives, their friendship and their deep love for each other.

They even talked marriage. A subject that was way out of Jim’s comfort zone, but eventually, he felt comfortable enough to talk about it. They spoke about when they wanted to get married. They talked about where they wanted to move out and live together. Their careers and how they would work everything out. They even brought up the discussion of children. How many they wanted. When they wanted to start.

Eventually, the topic of _sex_ came up.

It came up a few times actually.

The first time being with Jane’s mother.

It wasn’t a big lecture about safe sex and all that, but it was more so like the usual. Momma’s always looking out for her baby girl. She remembered her mother telling her of the consequences that could come with engaging in pre-marital sex. High risk of getting pregnant. High risk of catching sexually transmitted disease. But that was the physical stuff. The emotional stuff was a different story. One thing that never left Jane’s mind was getting too attached. Her mother always said to her when a girl gives up that precious gift to a guy so early and so young, it could cause emotional damage. The thing that her mother encouraged her to do was to wait until she was married.

The second time it came up, was during her health and wellness class in school. Thankfully, it had been a female teacher, and the fact that her class was all female students. It was like déjà vu all over again. Her teacher mirroring the exact same words that her mother had said. Be safe. ‘Don’t engage in intercourse unless you’re protected, and most importantly, unless it is with the person that you love and can see yourself marrying’.

She told Jim that she wanted to wait. That there was no rush for that _kind_ of stuff yet.

Jim was reluctant at first, but eventually agreed to it.

Although it had been much harder and more pressure for a guy, Jim was willing to do anything for Jane. And if she wanted to wait, then he would too.

Jane sighed, a heavy sigh. She laid back down on her bed, charm bracelet grasped tightly in her hand. She remembered how awful it had been having to endure the constant peer pressure of just ‘going through’ with the sex thing. Majority of her friends had lost theirs at sixteen. Some even younger.

_‘Why wait until you’re married when you can have fun now?’_ They would say to her.

_‘Just do it! It’s not such a bad thing!’_ They said again.

_‘If you don’t do it with Jim, Jane, then we can’t be friends with you anymore.’ She hated them. ‘We can’t be seen with a virgin’._

It was bad enough that Jim had to endure the crude nick names he was given. Prude. Wuss. Sissy. It was much worse as guy. According to guys at school, a guy ‘breaking his girl in’ was classic ‘guy code’. If a guy didn’t do that, then he was known as a prude.

Two months later into their relationship, where things were beginning to take a turn for the worst.

* * *

 

_“Jim.” She whispered, breathing heavy, with some still caught in her throat. “I’m scared.”_

_He caresses her cheek with his fingers, loving the way how she melts into his touch. He places a kiss on her forehead, and rests his against hers. “Don’t be scared.”_

_He silences her whimpers with kisses to her lips. All of sudden, she feels something press against her leg, eyes widening. She feels nothing like the innocent girl she was once._

_“Jim?”_

_He lowers his body against hers. Warm against one another. “Yeah, babe?”_

_“Do you still love me?” Hands clasped around his back, fingers sinking into his skin._

_He looks at her and smiles. “Of course.”_

_“You promise?” His lips are against hers again._

_She wonders how one minute, they’re talking and laughing. And then next, their making out furiously. And then the next thing she knew, his naked body is mounted on top of hers. She shivers, wondering how on earth they ended up in this position. Her being under him was making her feel on edge._

_“Jane, love, just relax.” His breath hot against her skin. “I’m here. You don’t have to worry.”_

_He kisses her again. The passion heated up inside of them. It was enough to calm her down, before she felt something move inside of her, and she gasped. It hurt for a bit. A big bit actually. It took her a while to get into the groove of things, but with Jim’s help, she managed to do so. He was gentle, and so caring and loving._

_Everything just fit into place._

* * *

 

That had been a night that Jane would never forget.

How could she? It had been the night where she had lost her virginity.

She remembered that night. Vividly. To the point where tears start to form in her eyes. Losing her virtue to Jim wasn’t the worst thing. It was the fact that she had let herself give into peer pressure from her so-called friends. She had let other people’s constant criticisms get to her. But if she had to choose any guy in the world that she would’ve given her virtue up to, it was Jim. She never regretted it. In fact, she had enjoyed it. A lot. It wasn’t like Jim had forced her. It was something that happened all by itself. But she didn’t prevent it from happening either.

She hugs herself. Inhaling the scent that was left from Jim.

It was as she could feel his body amongst hers right this very minute. And she missed it. Craved it.

Six months into their relationship and ever since that special night, things changed. It became more addictive to them. Whenever they would get the chance to do so, they took that opportunity every time they could. Jane’s mother and brother had gone out of town one weekend, and she let Jim spend the night. Engaging in heavy and intense love making each chance they got. Jim’s mother would work late nights, and they would be at it again. And again. And again.

It was like a drug. One that was impossible to be cured from. No amount of rehab or anything was able to cure them from this. The more of an opportunity they got, the more they took advantage. And the more their love grew. Intense. Hungry. Hot and heavy. Jim would always made Jane feel good. Emotionally, and especially physically. It was like she was a completely different person. But the love that they had for each other had still been alive and well.

* * *

 

_“Jim, can I ask you something?”_

_She had asked him when they’re in his bed, stripped down, both catching their breath after engaging in their nightly activity. He looks down at her, fingers grazing lightly over her shoulder blade. “What is it, love?”_

_“Do you think,” She pauses, fingers playing notes on his chest. “We’ll ever get married someday?”_

_“Us get married?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_He’s quiet for a minute. His mind going in circles. Part of him wanting to run in the opposite direction from this topic. However, the other part of him is certain that this is the girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with. So surprisingly he answers,_

_“I think so.”_

_She tilts her head to peer up at him. “You do?”_

_He nods. Sure of his answer now. “I do.”_

_“You’re not just saying that, are you?”_

_“Jane,” He peers down into her big blue eyes. “You’re the girl that I want to marry.” A kiss to her forehead. “You’re the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’m sure of that.”_

_She blinks rapidly, trying her best to blink back the tears that threatened to escape. “You….” She swallows. “You really mean that, Jim?”_

_“Of course I do, love.” He places a kiss on the tips of her fingers. “We’re gonna get married one day.” And he was sure of that. “I promise.”_

_“Really?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“I love you.”_

_“I love you too.”_

* * *

 

Jane had been naïve enough to believe a promise as fragile as that was worth willing to keep. What never realized was that promises can very quickly be broken. _SPLAT._ Just like that. Not a single warning. Nothing. Unfortunately, she had to learn that the hard way. Actually, ‘hard’ was much too easy. It was more like she had to take a much difficult route in order to discover that. And she realized that once things between her and Jim had begun to change.

Losing her virginity to Jim, meant that he was completely _off-limits._ He was hers and only hers. No other girl was allowed to come into her territory. But because girls were so devious and evil spirited, they didn’t care. For some reason, girls started chasing Jim even more than they ever did before. There was something about him that became so appealing. Maybe word got out about him and Jane finally ‘screwing’ each other. And that’s what got the other girls’ attention.

Girls would hit on him. Sometimes right in front of Jane. Even if he were holding her hand, or kissing her. Some of them slipped their phone numbers with their names on it into his bag when he wasn’t looking. From Sally. From Elizabeth. Maria. Jennifer. Any girl one could think of. Jim was so oblivious to these things, but Jane noticed. She always noticed.

Eight months down the road, she started becoming more and more possessive and more controlling. Girls would get too close, and she would tell them to get lost. Jim would confront her about her attitude. He would tell her to calm down and stop acting like such a crazed lunatic. She would turn and snap at back at him telling her to calm down. All hell broke loose from there.

They fought constantly.

Every second the day, there was never a day where they wouldn’t not fight.

Their late night love making and heated make out sessions had been swapped for daily arguments. Most of their arguments were over the same thing; Girls getting too close to Jim.

To Jane it was.

To Jim, it was her lack of confidence and her ability to trust him. Trust that she was still the only girl he had eyes for. Trust that she was the one that he wanted to marry. Not Sally. Not Jessica. No Irena. None of those girls mattered to him.

But Jane didn’t believe him.

She didn’t trust these girls. Any of them.

Rare times she would catch Jim ogling a girl every time she walked by. Smiling in his direction. A flirtatious smile.

And they would fight again.

Many times their fights were verbal. Constantly at each other’s throats. Screaming and shouting, spitting harsh words back and forth. Many of these fights led to tears. Every single night, there was never a night where she wouldn’t not cry herself to sleep. There was only a few times where their fights had become physical at one point.

A girl had called his house one night. Asking for Jim.

Jane had picked up the phone while Jim was down helping his mother move some boxes around their house.

Jim had come and found her snooping through his phone. He confronted her, demanding why she would do such a thing. Jane decided she was going to confront the girl and that’s when Jim had grabbed her by the wrists and shoved her to wall, wrists pinned above her head. She had slapped him. And then he hit her. He hit her so hard that she fell to the ground.

Thankfully there was no bruise.

Jane flinched at the memory. Remembering his hand striking her so violently. The hand of the guy that promised her that he would always love her no matter what. The hand of the guy that promised to marry her. But that had changed. Drastically.

She sat up from her bed, tossing the charm bracelet aside and yanked off the sweatshirt. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she rubbed at them roughly.

Ten months in, and they ended up having to distance themselves from one another. They never saw each other as often as they usually did. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week had quickly dropped to one day a week, for two hours. And that one day for two hours, led to more fighting. More verbally attacking one another. More tears. Her mother always questioned why she came home so upset and melancholy every day. Jane’s answer was always the same thing (“I’m just stressed with school, that’s all”.)

Her mother knew it was more than that. But she never pushed her any further.

Two months later, it had been a year. Instead of feeling excited and eager to celebrate a milestone, instead, it was celebrated in a screaming match. More yelling. More shouting. More vulgar words spat between one and the other. Two days later, was the day the earth had come crumbling down.

* * *

 

_“We’re done! This relationship and this friendship, it’s done! Over!”_

_She blinks back the tears. “Fine, Jim!” She shoves him. “If that’s how you want it to be, then fine!”_

_“This whole thing was a mistake!”_

_He had yelled at her. With tears rolling down her cheeks, she bit her lip._

_“Well if that’s the way you feel, then maybe we should just break up!” She had shouted back._

_“Maybe we should!”_

_“Fine!”_

_“We’re over! Done! I don’t ever want to see you again!”_

_“Screw you, Jim!” And with that, she turns on her heel and runs back home, sobbing. Leaving the only guy she’s ever cared standing in the park._

* * *

 

She could no longer hold back the sob that bubbled in her throat. Her face was stained with tears. Some dry. Some were fresh. She curled her body in ball, sobbing into her pillow and wiping at the endless tears that overflowed.

That was the day that her world had indeed came crumbling down. Everything gone. Stripped from her. Shattered in pieces at her feet. Her mother had been right all along. Love did hurt. And it hurt so much. It wasn’t how she had envisioned her sixteenth year to go. She expected to find love. They graduate from high school and get married. And stay married until they’re old and wrinkly.

All of her friends found love at the age of sixteen. And they were able to maintain that love. Unfortunately for Jane, it was a different story.

He and Jane never spoke again after that night in the park. It had been a week before her seventeenth birthday. And when that day came, all she wanted was Jim. She missed him deeply. That was the first birthday he’s missed of hers. And it pained her to know how much he had hated her. And how much she had hated him.

She graduated from high school that year. But without her best friend. Another special occasion that he refused to show up to.

Not only did she lose her boyfriend and the love of her life, but she also lost a best friend. The one person who she could count on. The one person who was always there for her in her time of need. She missed having a friend to talk to every day. She missed having someone to cheer her up and make her laugh. She missed his kisses. She missed everything about him.

But one thing was for sure that Jane would admit.

She was still madly in love with Jim.

The love that she had for him is still alive and well. And no amount of time or distance could take that away from her. If she had the opportunity to turn back time and do things over again, then she would gladly accept without no hesitation.

Jim was her love. Her first love. Her only love.  
He’s been the missing piece to her puzzle. All she needs is him and her life would be complete.

But he’s engaged.

Soon to be married.

To Melody.

And there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. The thought of him living happily ever after with Melody killed her deep inside. It was like a stab to the gut.

Jim was her other half. And without him, it was like taking away her chance to continue breathing. And to continue living. It was as if half her identity had been stripped from her with no warning. And there was nothing she could do about it.

Nothing.

The only thing she could do was move on with her life. And hope to find new love. But that may not ever be the case.

Jane knew that she would never in her life find another guy who could replace Jim. Jim was irreplaceable. And no guy could fill his spot.

The only problem is, is that once a heart is broken, it’s almost impossible to fix it back to the way it was. For Jane, mending her broken heart was going to take a long time fix. And she wondered how she would fix it.

But deep down, she couldn’t.

She would never be able to fix her heart.


End file.
